****BEST ITEMS TO BARTER**** – $500000 (glendale, ca)
Reply to: ********
Date: 2009-07-06, 11:24AM PDTI have several things to barter here is a list. This is THE CREAM OF THE CROP mint condition stuff so dont make low ball offers. Cash is good but I am also looking for other things TVs, electronics, classic guitar, NO REASONABLE OFFER WILL BE REFUSED IF YOU GOT IT OFFER IT I MIGHT BE INTERESTED. Here are the items:
Brand new still in the box Surround sound system 6.1 dolby, retail value is over 1k. I can show you the website
Car system with custom box, 2 phoenix gold subs 12 inch with a custom box 1200 watts each speaker
Electric guitar and amp – Fender
Laptop – IBM T42 great condition 80gig hard drive, works perfect
Kingston mini SD card, unopened
Broken computer – needs a hard drive mainly for parts
Hooka, shish – purple hooka about 24 inchs, rarely used with hoses and tobacco
Michal Cooper autographed mini basketball
PS3 games – UFC Undisputed, Madden 08, Nascar 08.
Standing waterfall – Slate rock, really nice – pour water and enjoy the sounds. No mess no fuss I have it in my house
Sony Viao laptop GSR model its very old – parts only.
______________________________________________________
Me:
Friend – you really do have some great things. Let us barter.
Alex:
ok what do you have?
Me:
Well, what is it that you seek? Not only do I have material objects but I also have great knowledge I would be willing to share with you… for the right trade.
Alex:
Look stop wasting my time. Give me a list of what you are offering. I seek anything and everything. I dont need great knowledge as I already have that so what material objects do you have.
Me:
I did not mean to upset you or “waste your time” – Forgive me if I did.
I have many things you may like. I have some original paintings (some framed), a coffee maker, broken microwave, popcorn maker (it burns the popcorn alot of the time though), two life size statues of dwight eisenhower (they accidentaly sent me two) a big cd collection and some very interesting books. I also have an old bike and some shovels. My jacuzzi is not for sale/trade though, so please dont ask.
Which items of yours would you like to trade for mine?
Alex:
do you have pics of the statues and the old bike?
Me:
Here is a picture of my eisenhower statue. The other one is just like it but its in storage. Also here is a picture of my bike. It is very comfortable and has been through alot of funny stories that I can tell you if you want to know them. Like the time I rode it naked through my college campus (THATS A GOOD STORY – YOULL LIKE THE END!)
Alex:
What do you want to trade for the statue.
Me:
How about the guitar/amp, waterfall and either the laptop or the car sound system?
Alex:
Ill give you the guitar alone for it.
Me:
You drive a hard bargain. Eisenhower was a great president and this is a great statue. He looks really funny when you put different hats on him (One time my friend put a KKK hood over it – really funny looking) – What kind of guitar is it?
Alex:
Fender. How much is the statue worth?
Me:
It is truly one of a kind so I would say it is almost priceless. What kind of Fender? Strat? Telly? Is it American made or Mexican?
Alex:
american strat the neck was replaced a year ago.
Four days later…
Me:
I am embarassed to admit this, but I broke my statue while trying to get it ready to trade with you. I have been trying to put it back together for the last couple days, this is why you have not heard from me. I got most of it back together, but it doesnt really look like Dwight D Eisenhower anymore. Still interested?
Alex:
nope
Me:
It sort of looks like a down syndrome Tom Bergeron now. So maybe that could be interesting?
Alex:
maybe not.
__________________________________________________________
Oh SNAP!
Just think, with this one trade, Alex could have become the world’s foremost conniseur of “Tom Bergeron afflicted with Down Syndrome” art.
Looks like you missed the boat on this one Alex!
Well, maybe I’ll invite you to my T.B.A.W.D.S gallery when it opens.
maybe not.
Namaste.
July 8, 2009 at 5:24 pm |
Ummm, was he trading a bong? A purple one?
July 8, 2009 at 6:38 pm |
i like how the statue is one of a kind… but you have two.
July 8, 2009 at 7:36 pm |
haha exactly. I am glad someone picked up on that
July 8, 2009 at 7:58 pm
That whole thing made me laugh out loud.
July 9, 2009 at 1:23 pm |
I also liked how the statue was ‘life-size’ but was just his head. LOL
July 9, 2009 at 1:31 pm |
Yeah, I never dreamed he’d ask to see a picture of the statues. So, when I looked up “Dwight D. Eisenhower statue” on google images, everything was just of outdoor bronze statues. The bust was the only thing I could find that looked like I could possibly own it. Though I suppose the head could be life sized!
July 10, 2009 at 12:14 am |
One time my friend put a KKK hood over… Should have linked Alex a picture displaying the statue with a hat.
To be honest, after your bike story, why would he want the statue? Nor, did he even comment on the bike.
July 10, 2009 at 12:41 am |
Not to mention, one minute I’m offering him deep knowledge and the next I’m rambling on about drunken naked bike rides. Inconsistent maybe?
July 10, 2009 at 1:31 pm |
Listened to LoveLine last night. (:
The fact that he was interested in the statue made me laugh so hard.
The whole thing did, actually.
July 11, 2009 at 3:06 pm |
your site rules. I was sitting with tears in my eyes, laughing hysterically. I’m putting a link to your blog in mine. Thanks for making my day roflmao
July 11, 2009 at 3:49 pm |
thanks alot bob and thanks for the blog link as well!
July 15, 2009 at 7:23 pm |
This is perhaps my favorite website that I’ve encountered in a long while.
I, like the gentleman above, have been moved to tears at times.
My complaint would be the lack of new material in a shocking seven (7) days.
July 15, 2009 at 11:47 pm |
Yeah I definitely haven’t been updating with the frequency you my loyal readers deserve. Some craziness lately has kept me away from it, but I should hopefully have some new stuff soon.
July 16, 2009 at 4:36 pm |
Please – I need more hilarity in my life – Your blog is what gets me through life…
July 17, 2009 at 12:48 pm |
yay.
I NEED an update.
July 22, 2009 at 7:11 pm |
why,oh whyyyyy has it been 2 weeks since we last got an update?!?
we neeeeeeeed this.
:)
August 7, 2009 at 9:14 pm |
Oh how I miss laughing to the point of tears here. I’m sorry to hear of IRL craziness. It happens, and sometimes the funny has to go on the backburner. It’s understandable, but I hope to read more soon. I like this blog more than a person should like a blog. It’s kinda sick the way I will read the same things over and enjoy them more each time.
August 18, 2009 at 6:36 am |
You are very missed and very needed! Hope things will calm down enough soon for you to post!!
September 23, 2009 at 7:42 pm |
Did we quit?