Lizard Tales

Bearded Dragons for sale (Miami)

Reply to: ****
Date: 2009-06-22, 5:32PM EDT

Bearded dragons for sale.  they are 7 weeks old.  will include a month’s worth of food.

lizards

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

__________________________________________________________

Me: 
Hello – do you still have these little guys?

Tim: 
yes I do, are you interested.

Me: 
Very.  My roommate is absolutely terrified of lizards.  These look especially scary. 
 
I think I may be able to finally make him pee himself.  We have a bet, if I get him to pee himself before he gets me to throwup I win $800 bucks.  I’ve gagged a few times but havent quite yet thrown up  It was close though when he left the rotting cat in my pillow case. YUCK.
 
dont worry though, the lizards will face no danger.

Tim: 
You guys have a weird way of pranks, but to each is his own.  Whenever you would like to see them let me know and I can make arrangements for you to do so.  They are babies and are tiny right now (notice the pic on the right) but they do grow to a nice size.  I have two adults that you can see (not for sale). just le me know

Me: 
Haha yeah we do.  I was THIS close to getting Joey to pee last week.  I paid my friend from work 50 bucks to hide in Joey’s closet and wear a ski mask while holding a knife.  Unfortunately, when Joey opened the closet he actually just passed out from shock.  Haha he didnt talk to me for 3 days.  That’s when he put the cat corpse in my pillow case. 
 
Do you have any ideas as to what way I could display the lizards to scare him really badly?  After the initial scare though, we will keep the lizards as our regular pets.  I already have most of the supplies.

Tim: 
whenever u see them you can decide the best way to display them.  I dont know how you rooms are set up.

Me: 
Whats the most I could get?

Tim: 
forty bucks a piece, so thats up to you, and I have 5 left

Me: 
Do bearded lizards tails come off like other lizards?  I was thinking about maybe waiting for him to fall asleep.  Then I’ll dangle them from some fishing line (tied around their tailes) above his face and wake him up. Obviously, this will not be a good idea if their tails are the kind that detach.  I would probably want to buy all 5 though.
 
Haha I’m going to end up spending more than $800 just trying to win the $800.  Oh well

Tim: 
That’s definitely not a good idea to hold them by their tails and they will come off.  They are ready to go whenever you are ready.

Me: 
Please tell me then what I shall dangle them from?  I am committed to my plan.

_________________________________________________________

Can you believe Tim abandoned me in my time of need?  He was right there, right in the thick of things, ready to help me make my roommate pee himself, but then we hit one little hitch in the plan and he runs off and leaves me alone with a great plan and zero lizards.

Tim, do not expect me to come to your aid ever again.  You are alone in your struggles.

Namaste.

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5 Responses to Lizard Tales

  1. OhDear says:

    Brilliant. I love you and want to marry you.

    Don’t tell my husband.

  2. Jennifer says:

    Oh wow, I just knew he was going to help you out since he didn’t blow you off after the 1st comment about your roommate. Man you are a funny, funny guy!

  3. Shawn says:

    I was ROFL’ing hard when you told him about the ski masked friend part hahahaha

  4. Holly says:

    I love little baby Bearded Dragons. How could they be scary?

    Holly

  5. virgil says:

    namaste. funny shit. i will publish this too. now use your powers to change the world

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