Stuffed Animals

June 18, 2009

STEPHEN KING MOVIE ANIMALS — PET CEMETERY II (Georgia)


Reply to: ****
Date: 2009-06-15, 2:45PM PDT

I have some of the animals that were used in the Stephen King movie PET CEMETERY II. I have documentation for these as well. (I have more things for sale that you can see by CLICKING ON A PICTURE. I am in ATL

catsdog

___________________________________________________________

Me:  THESE ANIMALS ARE AWEEEEEEEEESOME! 
 
DO YOU STILL HAVE THEM?
 
SALOMON (BUT YOU CAN CALL ME SAL, OR SALL)

Myron:  yes

Me:   Myron – how did you steal these from Stephen king?!  I bet that is a good story to hear!

Myron:  Didn’t steal them . I have a Taxidermy shop (had) here in Covington. They came to me and leased them for the movie and then returned them to me.

Me:  Oh I see – I am sorry, I did not mean to assume you were a criminal.  What happened to your taxidermy business?  I have always wanted taxidermied animals in my life.  Lots of times at the zoo I see all the animals, like tigers, lions, chinchillas, etc and I think “I would really like to own that animal but I would not like to be afraid for my life”  And that is when I decided that taxidermy would be a good compromise.
 
Take your crazy white dog and those wild cats for example.  I would be scared of them in real life but when they are dead I just laugh and think about how funny they would look with beer cans resting on them.  This will sound foolish, but they wont bring me any bad luck will they?  Pet Cemetery was very creepy and I wouldnt want to buy any cursed animals.  Please do not mock my spirtuality.
 
How much  (including shipping) for these wonderful specimens

Me (1 day later):  I am still waiting for your response Myron.  Hope all is well.

Me (2 days later):  I WANT TO BUY THE ANIMALS PLEASE!  I GET VERY IMPATIENT!

__________________________________________________________

No taxidermy animals for me.  I guess Myron got a little sensitive when I insinuated his animals were cursed.

Or maybe Stephen wanted his pets back.

Namaste.

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Bounce House

June 1, 2009

jumper – $900


Reply to:****
Date: 2009-05-30, 12:43AM PDT

we have 2 jumpers one is for 500 dollars that is the one that has animals and the other one is for 900 that is the red one.
if interested please email

jumper1jumper2

___________________________________________________________

Me:  Do these work?

Lizbett:  yes they do

Me:  I like jumpers but not kids.  I hope not too many have used these.  This is no insult against any children you may have, I’m sure they are lovely.  I just dont like kids in general – they can be very rude.  Especially to someone like me with my condition.  do both run on 110V electricty?

Lizbett:  yes they both run in electricity.

Me:  Good to hear.  I enjoy the convenience of electricity.  I have a very large house, very high ceilings and wide open rooms.  I would like to put these jumpers INSIDE my house.  Do you think that could work?  Then I can have a bounce room at all times of day and night, regardless of weather.  My condition does not allow me to set foot outside.

__________________________________________________________

Lizbett didnt respond.  She obviously has no respect for the disabled.  And how did she know I wasn’t legitimately interested?  I could easily be a wealthy recluse with a strange dehabilitating condition with a certain hatred for children, interested in creating a fun bouncy environment for his own personal enjoyment.  Easily.

Namaste.


Carvin’ like Marvin

May 24, 2009

Table – $5 (1mi. from csulb & traffic circle)


Reply to: ****
Date: 2009-05-23, 3:29PM PDT

Coffee table – $5

table

______________________________________________________

Me:  Hello.  What is your table made of?

Stephanie:  It’s wood

Me:  Perfect.  I am looking for a wood table that I can do some carving on to make a cool design.  Nothing too crazy.  Just maybe like a skeleton doing a rain dance (for rain) – Is this something you think could be done?

Stephanie:   Hey yeah, it’s a good wood table for what you want to do. Plus it’s not too much of a burden lol. I’m waiting for a reply though from a lady because she wanted to pick it up sometime this week and is offering me $10. But I’ll let you know asap =)

Me:  I will give you $10 plus sand collected from the beach of eternal serenity.  I will also allow you to come share a meal with my associates and myself when I have completed the carving.  It will be a meal you will never forget.  I am also considering doing the carving of a wolf feasting on the intestines of a fallen warrior.  ______________________________________________________

Never heard back from Stephanie.  Surprising too, I thought my counter offer was very attractive.

My associates will be very sorry to hear that Stephanie will not be joining us for dinner.

Namaste.


Charcoal or Gas?

May 19, 2009

BBQ – $40 (WEST HILLS)


Reply to:****
Date: 2009-05-18, 10:09AM PDT

BBQ AS IT IS, WORKING GOOD, IN A GOOD CONDITION
bbq
____________________________________________________________

Me: Greetings friend, is your bbq still available?

Joe: hello please call (818) 610 **** because we had 2 bbq and i will tell you which one we sold which one is still in thank you .

Me: Would your BBQ be good for cremating small mammals? I believe my favorite hamster, Pablo Escabar XIV will be passing away soon. I would like to cremate him in a respectful manner. Sorry for the strange question.

Joe: no problem its ok
and yes it would be

Me: I really dont mean to be creepy or morbid, I just have alot of pets that I love. (Though some I like more than others!) It’s just getting so expensive to keep cremating them all, so I figured in these hard economic times, this would be a good way for me to cut costs while still respecting my little furry friends and their transition to the afterlife.

What do you think is the biggest animal that could fit on it?

Blessings,
Ty
__________________________________________________________

puppybbq

No reply from Joe.

I guess I’ll never know if Fleabag and Mr. Ugly would have fit on Joe’s BBQ.

 

Namaste.


What a waste

May 6, 2009

WASTE BASKETS – $1


Reply to: ****
Date: 2009-05-05, 7:39PM PDT

$3 Each. Many Different Sizes and Shapes

MUST SELL BY THE END OF THE WEEK. FIRST COME FIRST SERVE

CALL (310) 971-****

Also Have: External Hard Drive, Pedestal File, Chairs, End Table, Full Length Mirror, TV with Universal Remote.

wastebaskets1

___________________________________________________________

 Me: Are these still available?
 

Ekim: Yes

Me:  Do they have trash in them?

Ekim:  I try to keep them as stinky as possble so nobody will steal them. Has worked so far. LOL.

No, they are trash free. Virgin receptacles I like to think. You’re free to soil and defile them yourself.

oooh, now you’re speaking my language!

Me:  Virgin receptacles… sounds like my prom night! KNOW WHAT IM SAYIN?? LOL

________________________________________________________

Ekim didn’t respond.  Apparently he doesn’t know what I’m sayin’.

Namaste.


Party like a successful musician of the rock and roll genre.

May 4, 2009

+_+_+_+_ 2 casses of rockstars!+_+_+- – $80 (sunland)


Reply to: ****
Date: 2009-05-01, 11:26AM PDT

i have2 casses of rockstar normal and punched! i dont drinking the stuff . both are new and untoched!
looking to trade for xboxgames , or what you got? or take um both for 60

rockstarenergy

_________________________________________________________

First Email

Greetings friend,

It has come to my attention that you have in your possession a pair of cases containing the delicious elixir known to humanity as Rockstar Energy drink.  Is this true?  Do you have such a surplus of libation?  I would be highly interested in acquiring this bevy of beverage from you.  What is it that you seek in compensation?

Good tidings to you sir – Please respond post-haste,

Ty Wilsone

Reply

ill i have are 2 casses for 60 bucks :)

jonny

Second Email

Has someone previously imbibed of your product?  That is to say, have the lips of another already tasted from the sweet nectar of the Rockstar flower and quenched their energetic thirst?  Or, are these in pristine condition, having never been enjoyed by another?

Great thanks,

Ty

2nd Reply

there are new and shrinked wraped in a case of 24 ,

Third Email

Oh this does alleviate a great deal of concern I had.  I trust the canisters have nay been exposed to any strains of the virulent scourge currently identified as Swine Flu?  I should not hope to be struck down from such a disease for simply hoping to greatly increase my energy quotient.

Many thanks to you,

Ty

_______________________________________________________________

Dammit.  Jonny never responded.  So much for getting my hands on 2 “casses” of these “untoched”, “shrinked wraped” energy drinks that he “don’t drinking.” 

Guess I’ll have to find a different method of contracting Swine Flu.

Namaste.


Nice Rack

May 1, 2009

Ikea CD Rack + Tons of CDs!!! (Silver Lake)


Reply to: ****
Date: 2009-04-28, 8:19PM PDT

Yes- its the Ikea CD tower everyone has, but with a twist- its chock full of cds!
I’m moving and I need someone to take the whole thing, not just some cds, not just the tower, but everything.

CDs are all over the place, from Outkast to The Shins to Juice Newton, to Billie Holiday…I can’t attest to the condition of them all, I never listen to them anymore, but many have never been played.

There is some candle wax on the tower that will easily come off.

BEST OFFER by Thursday Night comes and gets it!

cdrack1

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

_________________________________________________________

First Email

Greetings,
 
Is this awesome cd tower still available?  BTW, your music taste sounds impeccable.
 
Namaste,
Ty

Reply

yes no offers yet

Second Email

Would I be able to come by with a portable cd player and listen to your cds? (with headphones on of course)  You wont even know I’m there – I can be very quiet.  If you’d prefer, I can come over when you’re gone.  Just leave the keys for me under the mat?
 
Just kidding :)
 
What sort of offers are you looking for?  Cash? Items?
 
Namaste,
Ty

2nd Reply (2 days later)

Hello – thank you all for contacting me about the CDs and tower. My highest bid is $105. If anyone would like to up the ante, speak now or forever hold your peace. I would like someone to pick it up tonight.

Thanks!

Third Email

Three potted plants, an old eskimo coat, fifteen bottles of water, one bowling shoe, a gently used african spear and 9 dollars.  final offer.

_________________________________________________________

She didn’t email me back.   I knew my second email was way outlandish, so my plan was to say that I was joking and reply to her next email with something even crazier.  Unfortunately, she didn’t reply to that email.  And as far as my final offer,  someone else must have been able to sweeten the pot with a brand new spear.

Yeah, that’s gotta be it.

Namaste.