Stuffed Animals

June 18, 2009


Reply to: ****
Date: 2009-06-15, 2:45PM PDT

I have some of the animals that were used in the Stephen King movie PET CEMETERY II. I have documentation for these as well. (I have more things for sale that you can see by CLICKING ON A PICTURE. I am in ATL




Myron:  yes

Me:   Myron – how did you steal these from Stephen king?!  I bet that is a good story to hear!

Myron:  Didn’t steal them . I have a Taxidermy shop (had) here in Covington. They came to me and leased them for the movie and then returned them to me.

Me:  Oh I see – I am sorry, I did not mean to assume you were a criminal.  What happened to your taxidermy business?  I have always wanted taxidermied animals in my life.  Lots of times at the zoo I see all the animals, like tigers, lions, chinchillas, etc and I think “I would really like to own that animal but I would not like to be afraid for my life”  And that is when I decided that taxidermy would be a good compromise.
Take your crazy white dog and those wild cats for example.  I would be scared of them in real life but when they are dead I just laugh and think about how funny they would look with beer cans resting on them.  This will sound foolish, but they wont bring me any bad luck will they?  Pet Cemetery was very creepy and I wouldnt want to buy any cursed animals.  Please do not mock my spirtuality.
How much  (including shipping) for these wonderful specimens

Me (1 day later):  I am still waiting for your response Myron.  Hope all is well.



No taxidermy animals for me.  I guess Myron got a little sensitive when I insinuated his animals were cursed.

Or maybe Stephen wanted his pets back.




May 13, 2009

Are you a dog lover and can help me now? (SFV)

Reply to: *****
Date: 2009-05-13, 1:10AM PDT

need help washing my dog. basically need someone to come feed her treats while I wash her in the tub, need to do it tonight.  in return we can also wash your dog or I can give a deep tissue sports massage?

just looking for kind dog lover that will not flake and be able to show up asasp.

-at 1:10 in the morning?!


Lets wash a dog! 

Me:  I could probably help you if you can help me in turn.  What is your pups name?  How come he needs a washing so bad?

Namaste friend,

Dan:   LOL she does not smell bad or anything LOL
she is just over due for a bath thats all LOL

her nane is Lola by the way

and what do you mean ” …  if you can help me in turn ” ?
what do you need help with ?

also what does ” Namaste friend ”  mean ?


-I can already tell this will be a great conversation…

Dan (10 mins later): Hello.  What happed? Did i loose you ?   :)

-woah, easy there tiger.  Its been ten whole minutes.  I sure hope you didn’t “loose” me…

Me:  I require assistance curing some hides from various animals that have met their fate at my bow.

And “Namaste” means ‘I bow to you’ in India.  “friend” is a cordial term for another person. 

I am especially effective at soothing canines.  Lola sounds like a loyal companion.


Dan:  Wow  why do you seem like your talking a diffrent language than english ? LOL

i know i am not dumb but your going way over my head LOL
Can you please stick to simple plain english  :)

i still have No idea what you need me to help you do
can you please be more specific ?

Me:  I am a great hunter.  I have many pelts that need to be treated, dried, cured, etc – so that they may be sold and traded at market.  Pelts are the hides from animals like otters, beavers, rabbits, wolves, bears, cows, squirrels, cats, raccoons, bobcats, lynx, marmots.  All the beautiful creatures of the wild.

Dan:  And do you mean you can help me out tonight ?
I am assuming your not too far from west LA / santa monica

Name ?   M ?  F ?

Dan here
thank you

Me:  I am Ty Wilsone.  M.  I can get to santa monica with the swiftness of a salmon.

Dan:  Well TY, its hard for me to say yes to helping you out since i have no idea what that process entails ..

why cant we stick to helping you wash your pet or even giving you a massage …  LOL
Where are you located ?

there are a couple of pics of Lola and one of myself
So your meeting complete strangers  hahadbdbdb








– oh dear God…

Me:  This is not what I desire!


I feel like I need to take a shower after this email…

And maybe a massage?


Doggone it!

May 5, 2009

Need A Business Plan? I Will Write It (California)

Reply to: ****
Date: 2009-05-04, 5:03PM PDT

If you need any kind of business plan, I can help you. I have written dozens of plans for every purpose. Whether it be for a simple start-up, to get financing, to find an investor, to do a merger, for a marketing plan, to expand, etc. Quick turnaround if you need it.


First Email

Hi – I’m an entrepreneur looking to start up a dog grooming business.  Can you help with that?

Namaste friend,




Of course I can do a business plan for a dog grooming business.  A simple plan like this one would be for a fee of $1,000.  I require payment in advance, and can complete the plan in about 2 weeks.



Second Email

Great timothy!

well my idea is a rapid dog wash service.  Basically, I’ll go to dog parks and just quickly start washing dogs, any dogs I can find.  Then I think their owners will feel compelled to pay me a fee because I washed their dogs.  It’s kind of like homeless people washing your window – but  I’m not homeless and I’m washing little pups instead.  And everybody loves a clean dog!

Does that sound like something you can work with?

2nd Reply

Absolutely……….and I think it will work.   Very clever stuff.

We would come up with a very professional presentation to compliment the great idea.  Anybody you talk to would say, "wow, that’s cute."  Then you can present your business plan and prove that you have thought it thru.

Let me know if you make the decision to proceed.  I will wait to hear from you.


-what?!  I think anyone I talk to would say “wow, that’s dumb”

Third Email

I’ve run this by some other people in the past and they seem to think that it is illegal to take someones dog from a dog park back to my van in the parking lot to wash the dog unless I have permission from the owners. 

But I’m not sure – I can understand why I wouldnt be able to go to a regular park and nab some kids to wash, but dogs are just animals so its not that big a deal im sure.

I would like to call the business "Spot B Gone" because I clean the spots away, and a common dog name is Spot and he would be gone for awhile while i secretly wash him. 

Or maybe “Dog-gone Cleaners” because the dogs are gone, getting cleaned in my van.

do you foresee any legal problems?

3rd Reply

I think asking the owners for permission to wash the dogs would be even more effective.  You could say you are testing your washing equipment and washing some dogs for free.  You could follow up with a "tip me if you’re happy" line.  That would eliminate any legal question.  Just a thought.

– What great advice!

Fourth Email

I like to think outside the box.  I’ve also had the idea of after I wash the dogs, selling them to someone else, but cutting the previous owners in on the profits.  Doable? 

Maybe I can look for dogs whose owners don’t seem to like they like them very much.


Really? This is when Timothy stops responding?  Nabbing people’s dogs without permission and washing them in a van in the parking lot wasn’t too outlandish for him – but the second I mention possibly reselling the dogs, he’s done with me. 

Sounds like someone needs to expand their horizons.