“Meddling Detected”: A FWC B Side

February 24, 2010

While I round up some new material, have a gander at an old interaction from the FWC that never saw the light of day.  It’s like antique funny!

Metal Detector (Upland)


Date: Ancient History
Reply to: sale-xxxxx@craigslist.org


Used metal detector. Trade or cash. 

Similar to this picture.

metal detector 4002

_______________________________________________________

Me:  YES YES YES!

I wil happily trade you fi 

en your meta

hanks!

Ty
*this is so old I was still using “Ty Wilsone”

Allan: I don’t understand what will you trade me.

Me:  That was weird.  I wonder why it was all cut off like that.  What I was trying to say is that

I’m very intere$$()@2 inn32  your me

eautiful globes of Anta

Namaste,

Ty

Allan:  what are you trying to trade me for my metal detector.

Me:  I wonder if I have some sort of virus because I have no idea why my emails are coming across so screwy.  Are you interested in egyptian artifacts?

Allan:  what types of artifacts it sounds interesting.

Me:  They are quite interesting my friend.  Not many people have laid eyes on them – but I have quite a surplus and would be willing to trade a few for your metal detector.  I am hoping to use your device to find further treasures.

Allan:  can you send me some pictures

Me:  of me?

Allan:  of the artifacts of course

Me:  oh of course! haha sorry, I’m feeling quite scatter-brained today. I’ll have to dig up some pictures – in the mean time, what is the best thing you’ve found with your metal detector?  Any ancienct artifacts of the occult?

Allan:  no just some old silver coins and a few metal tools.

Me:  Here are two of my artifacts.  I will trade you one of them for your detector. 

I do not know if they are coins or rings or what, but I know they are very powerful.  Someone told me tha

and lat         sarc

stiny              ope        after sa

Tyl

image

Allan:  are these gold and are they big or small

Me:  I think so.  They are in the middle of big and small.  It sounds weird but, they are warm to the touch.

Allan:  are they worth anything

Me:  dunno

Allan:  I’m not interested then.

Me:  The man i bought them from was very insistent as to their value.  It was at a swap meet near Mobile, alabama and this very interesting muslim (the good kind) man was selling strange trinkets from the east.  He assured me great luck and fortune would come from just owning one of these.  I bought 25 for 90dollars each.

Me:  Allan?

_________________________________________________________

Apparently Allan’s device doesn’t just detect metal.

Namaste.


Golden Opportuniteeth

May 21, 2009

TOP CASH ON ALL SCRAP GOLD (ANYWHERE)


Reply to:****
Date: 2009-05-21, 7:22AM PDT

WE BUY ALL BROKEN / MANGLED CHAINS, RINGS WITH STONES MISSING,SCHOOL RINGS,
I EARRING, DENTAL GOLD, COINS, BARS, STERLING FLATWARE,
we also do all kinds of jewelry repair stop by for free jewelry cleaning
WE PAY CASH CALL NOW

__________________________________________________________

Me:  Do you take gold teeth?

Rick:  yes we do we are paying 14-15 a gram

Me:  Does it matter how I have acquired these teeth?

Rick:  AS LONG AS ITS NOT STOLEN I DONT CARE

Me:  They are not stolen.  But it is an interesting story how I got them and I think it may make them more valuable.  Involves the desert.   I have 13 of them and one half of one. 
 
  Do you want me to tell you the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth? (get it!)
 
  Do you pay cash?

Rick:  thats cool bring it by ill buy it

Me:  I was camping in joshua tree national park for the new moon (doing my heritage rituals) and i came across something in the sand.  I dug it out and it was a small velvet pouch filled with gold teeth!  so strange right??  (I wonder if they are from miners!) 
 
   I haven’t known what to do with them until I saw your ad saying that you buy gold.
 
   I hope you can buy my desert teeth?  Do you want the bag too?

Rick:  no just the gold lol

Me:  does gold smell weird?  my gold desert (probably miner) teeth smell weird.  i hope you will still buy them

Rick:  lol yea

Me:  do you get alot of smelly gold (teeth) or is this the first time you’ve dealt with it?

__________________________________________________________

Apparently, that was the last time he would deal with me.  I am a bit surpised that this is when he decided to stop responding.

What did we learn from Rick?

  • HE WILL NOT BUY STOLEN GOLD EVEN THOUGH HE COULDN’T POSSIBLY KNOW IF IT WAS STOLEN OR NOT. CAPSLOCK CAPSLOCK CAPSLOCK
  • Rick thinks that my heritage rituals are a laughing matter.   He is right.
  • Whether gold is inherently smelly, or you just have some smelly gold teeth (probably from miners) Rick will buy it. 
  • But do not ask Rick how much smelly gold he has.  He will not respond.

Thank you Rick, you’ve enlightened us all.

Namaste.