“Meddling Detected”: A FWC B Side

February 24, 2010

While I round up some new material, have a gander at an old interaction from the FWC that never saw the light of day.  It’s like antique funny!

Metal Detector (Upland)

Date: Ancient History
Reply to: sale-xxxxx@craigslist.org

Used metal detector. Trade or cash. 

Similar to this picture.

metal detector 4002



I wil happily trade you fi 

en your meta


*this is so old I was still using “Ty Wilsone”

Allan: I don’t understand what will you trade me.

Me:  That was weird.  I wonder why it was all cut off like that.  What I was trying to say is that

I’m very intere$$()@2 inn32  your me

eautiful globes of Anta



Allan:  what are you trying to trade me for my metal detector.

Me:  I wonder if I have some sort of virus because I have no idea why my emails are coming across so screwy.  Are you interested in egyptian artifacts?

Allan:  what types of artifacts it sounds interesting.

Me:  They are quite interesting my friend.  Not many people have laid eyes on them – but I have quite a surplus and would be willing to trade a few for your metal detector.  I am hoping to use your device to find further treasures.

Allan:  can you send me some pictures

Me:  of me?

Allan:  of the artifacts of course

Me:  oh of course! haha sorry, I’m feeling quite scatter-brained today. I’ll have to dig up some pictures – in the mean time, what is the best thing you’ve found with your metal detector?  Any ancienct artifacts of the occult?

Allan:  no just some old silver coins and a few metal tools.

Me:  Here are two of my artifacts.  I will trade you one of them for your detector. 

I do not know if they are coins or rings or what, but I know they are very powerful.  Someone told me tha

and lat         sarc

stiny              ope        after sa



Allan:  are these gold and are they big or small

Me:  I think so.  They are in the middle of big and small.  It sounds weird but, they are warm to the touch.

Allan:  are they worth anything

Me:  dunno

Allan:  I’m not interested then.

Me:  The man i bought them from was very insistent as to their value.  It was at a swap meet near Mobile, alabama and this very interesting muslim (the good kind) man was selling strange trinkets from the east.  He assured me great luck and fortune would come from just owning one of these.  I bought 25 for 90dollars each.

Me:  Allan?


Apparently Allan’s device doesn’t just detect metal.




July 1, 2009

antique York safe (Los Angeles)

Reply to: ****
Date: 2009-06-23, 10:20PM PDT

Tenant left this behind.  I have stored for a year, but now just want to get rid of it.  Research leads me to believe it is from the ’30s.  Very heavy, if you can haul it away, its yours










It is great fortune that I should come across this very safe.  Do you still have it in your belonging?

Hi Sal, You are the 5th person to respond. I will keep you posted, as someone is on their way to look at it. Thanks! Stacey

Oh this is truly disheartening.  If they are not able to crack the safe, I will be happy to give it a shot.  We can split whatever we find inside.  We do not even have to exchange any information just in case anyone is ever suspicious and tries to find us.

Hi, Thank you for your interest in the safe – the first person who responded picked it up.

What did you find inside?

While I was curious, my motivation was to get it out of the garage. After it was loaded onto the truck, though, I did say, “If you find a million bucks, send me a bottle of wine!”  Perhaps I’ll enjoy a fine Bordeaux once they open it…


Okay, I know this one isn’t all that funny but I just can’t believe she gave away a safe that she never opened!  Are you kidding me?! 

“Hey look, an antique safe from the ’30s that I can’t get open.  A mysterious tenant abandoned it when they left.  I know – I’ll just give it away and never look inside!”

I REALLY hope whoever picked it up sends her a bottle of wine, even if the safe is empty.  Just a lone bottle in a box with a note that says “Thanks.”  I’d love to see her face when she got that in the mail.

Ugh… Namaste.