Send me your tattoo sketch

July 7, 2009

Here’s my version of my tattoo as described in the post below.  Wouldn’t this just look wonderful on my back? 

Send me your sketches, doodles, scribbles, drawings, paintings, and/or murals; to tyler.funwithcraigslist@gmail.com or suffer a fate far worse than this fallen warrior.

I’ll post them on my blog and the best one will win something! 

(Hey, bribery works, just ask my people!)

Namaste.

tattoosketch


A Tribal Tattoo, of sorts

July 6, 2009

DOPE TATTOOS! (CHATSWORTH )


Reply to: ****
Date: 2009-07-02, 11:16AM PDT

OFFERING MY TATTOO SERVICES FOR THE FOLLOWING OR CASH!

BLURAY PLAYER
LCD HDTV
35″ TIRES
MACBOOKS, IBOOK, POWERBOOK G4, ETC.
PRO RECORDING STUDIO EQUIPMENT
REFRIGERATOR

LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU GOT AND MAYBE WE CAN WORK SOMETHING OUT!

lion

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

___________________________________________________________

Me:
I have many things.  lets trade

Pain (yeah, that’s his “name”):
WHAT DO YOU HAVE? 

CAN YOU LIST ME YOUR STUFF?

Me: 
Yes.  I have…

  • HDTV
  • bag of animal hair (few different kinds of animals)
  • knife collection
  • Laptop
  • rhino horn (REAL)
  • some small taxidermy animals (moles, mice, squirrels – that type of thing)
  • Ipod video
    some “spices” and “herbs” from far away places

I would like a tattoo that will honor my heritage and the proud traditions of my people.

Pain:
hdtv is cool! what brand and size?

what tattoo are you trying to do?

also the laptop, what kind and specs?

Me:
The hdtv is Mitsuhishi (not mitsubishi)  It is a knock off from Japan but works pretty good most of the time.  It is a 26 inch screen.  I bought it while on a round the world trip of the world.  I have some wonderful pictures I could show you if you want (NOT NAKED)
 
The laptop an acer.  13″. 1.2ghz 256mb ram. has dvd/cd burner but there is an “adult” film stuck in the drive – so you’ll need to be at least 18 to get this from me.  I hope this is not a problem.  It is a good film.
 
I was thinking of something with an indian warrior.  My specific tribal ancestors were very violent.  They often ripped their prisoners hearts out of their chest.  So maybe a warrior splitting open a rib cage and reaching in the chest cavity for the heart.  You seem very skilled so I dont think this would be a problem would it?  Do you think it is too gruesome?
 
Thank you for your quick replies,
Ty

Pain:
ARE YOU TRYING TO DO A BACKPIECE?
SOMETHING WITH THAT MUCH DETAILS WOULD BE MORE APPRECIATING IN A LARGER SCALE
TO SEE MORE DETAILS. AND NO IT ISNT TOO GRUESOME. AND YES I AM WAY OVER 18.
IS THE TV AN LCD FLAT PANEL?
WHEN DO YOU WANT TO GET STARTED? DO YOU HAVE ANY PICS OF YOUR ANCESTORS THAT I
CAN VIVE OFF OF?

Me:
A backpiece sounds like a good idea.  I would like it to be very detailed and I think you can do it very good.
 
 I have spoken to a friend about it and he believes there should also be like two wolves (maybe just one) that belong to the warrior also tearing at the dead prisoner’s body, being loyal to their master. There should also be a squaw (indian woman) in the background who is just barely covering her nipples with either her hair or her hands.  Or do you think her nipples should show? I value your input.
 
 She should also be looking at the warrior with a little bit of lust in her eye.  And I would like her to have braids.  Her breasts should be quite large (not comically large – just full, like when a woman is nursing)  She should not be naked on her lower half though.  Do you think it would look better with the sun in the sky or a full moon?
 
The tv is flat screen but it is very heavy,  And I am glad you are over 18, you will like the movie in the dvd drive very much.
 
I have attached a picture similar to what my ancestors looked like.  Very imposing and majestic dont you think?  Would you like me to find an indian woman too for inspiration?

my people

 

 

 

 

 

Pain: 
so the tv isnt one of those thins tvs you can mount on the wall?

Me: 
No you can.  It is just heavy.  Just need a good mount.

Pain:
COOL! I WILL DRAW IT UP AND TAKE IT FROM THERE.

___________________________________________________________

It’s been three days and “Pain” never got back to me.  On one hand, I am sad that I don’t have a hilariously violent sketch to share with you of an Indian, aided by his trusty wolves,  ripping out the heart from his enemy’s chest cavity while a lustfull squaw looks on.

On the other hand, I’m really grateful that I didn’t have to tell some tattoo artist named “Pain” who had spent hours on back piece sketch why I would no longer be seeking his services.

But hey – if YOU would like to try your hand at sketching this wonderful tattoo, feel free to send me a sketch at tyler.funwithcraigslist@gmail.com.  If you’re not artistically inclined – all the better, it will just be funnier.

If I get a few, I’ll post them on my blog.   Just imagine how famous you could become.

Namaste.


Golden Opportuniteeth

May 21, 2009

TOP CASH ON ALL SCRAP GOLD (ANYWHERE)


Reply to:****
Date: 2009-05-21, 7:22AM PDT

WE BUY ALL BROKEN / MANGLED CHAINS, RINGS WITH STONES MISSING,SCHOOL RINGS,
I EARRING, DENTAL GOLD, COINS, BARS, STERLING FLATWARE,
we also do all kinds of jewelry repair stop by for free jewelry cleaning
WE PAY CASH CALL NOW

__________________________________________________________

Me:  Do you take gold teeth?

Rick:  yes we do we are paying 14-15 a gram

Me:  Does it matter how I have acquired these teeth?

Rick:  AS LONG AS ITS NOT STOLEN I DONT CARE

Me:  They are not stolen.  But it is an interesting story how I got them and I think it may make them more valuable.  Involves the desert.   I have 13 of them and one half of one. 
 
  Do you want me to tell you the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth? (get it!)
 
  Do you pay cash?

Rick:  thats cool bring it by ill buy it

Me:  I was camping in joshua tree national park for the new moon (doing my heritage rituals) and i came across something in the sand.  I dug it out and it was a small velvet pouch filled with gold teeth!  so strange right??  (I wonder if they are from miners!) 
 
   I haven’t known what to do with them until I saw your ad saying that you buy gold.
 
   I hope you can buy my desert teeth?  Do you want the bag too?

Rick:  no just the gold lol

Me:  does gold smell weird?  my gold desert (probably miner) teeth smell weird.  i hope you will still buy them

Rick:  lol yea

Me:  do you get alot of smelly gold (teeth) or is this the first time you’ve dealt with it?

__________________________________________________________

Apparently, that was the last time he would deal with me.  I am a bit surpised that this is when he decided to stop responding.

What did we learn from Rick?

  • HE WILL NOT BUY STOLEN GOLD EVEN THOUGH HE COULDN’T POSSIBLY KNOW IF IT WAS STOLEN OR NOT. CAPSLOCK CAPSLOCK CAPSLOCK
  • Rick thinks that my heritage rituals are a laughing matter.   He is right.
  • Whether gold is inherently smelly, or you just have some smelly gold teeth (probably from miners) Rick will buy it. 
  • But do not ask Rick how much smelly gold he has.  He will not respond.

Thank you Rick, you’ve enlightened us all.

Namaste.


NY was bought with BEADS

May 19, 2009

Brochure Holder With Plexi Glass – $5 (Gardena)


Reply to:*****
Date: 2009-05-18, 11:12AM PDT

Brochure Magazine Rack Holder
There is ONE Brochure Holder With Plexi Glass available.
$5 Internet Special

brochureholder 

_______________________________________________________

Me:  Is this still available?

Ramon:  Yes it is. Are you interested ???

Me:  Very interested.  My organization, NAPNA (National Association of Powerful Native Americans) has a great deal of pamphlets that we would like to display at our next convention.  I think this would be good because it has many slots and we have many brochures.  Things like "The Eagle; What It Is Trying to Teach Us," "The Proud Hunter Mentality; How to Apply Ancient Teachings to the Modern Workplace," and "Native American, not Indian; A Guide to Dealing With Misinformed People" 
     How many brochures do you think it can hold?  We have many more.

Ramon:  It could hold about 60 brochures potentially more.

It was used to hold 6 across and there are 11 rows.

Me:  So it can hold only one of each?

Ramon:  No. It could hold more..perhaps 10 -15 per slot. Times 60 slots or more.

Me:  Would you be interested in some wonderful hides bearing scenic Native American landscapes and some handwoven baskets in trade for your display case?  (They are top quality items produced by members of NAPNA.  It would be in bad taste to refuse them)

Great fortunes to you,

Ty

Ramon:  We appreciate the offer, the case’s asking price is only $5.

We think that is a fair price for the unit and that is all we ask.

If you need any assistance please let us know.

________________________________________________________

Once again, the red man just can’t catch a break.  What ever will NAPNA do with all their brochures? How will they get their message out?!

Thanks to Ramon, looks like they may have to resort back to smoke signals.

Namaste.


dot or feather?

May 9, 2009

corner table – $15 (sangabriel)


Reply to: *****
Date: 2009-05-08, 11:02AM PDT

storage corner table 15 $ only
please call 626287****.
thank you

cornertable

_______________________________________________________

And so it begins…

Me: beautiful table still available?

Namaste,

Ty

Bhuvana:

yes i have the corner table please call 626287****

thankyou.

Me: How many sides does it have?  I get confused when trying to count them.

Bhuvana: hi.  its a 6 sides do you like this?

Me: I do like this. 6 sides is very pleasing to me. six is a strong number, symbolizing virtue, honor and masculinity.  has this been owned by any powerful men?

Bhuvana: thankyou so much. i think you are an indian.right.

namasthe .

Me: No, Native American. (unless this is what you meant when you said indian)  I raise eagles for a living.

Me (20 mins later): still there?

_______________________________________________________

eaglehunter

Bhuvana was not still there.  Either she feels bad for assuming I was “dot indian” and not “feather indian” or she’s terrified that she’s pissed off some Native American out there who raises eagles and she wants NO part of that.

But props to Bhuvana for being the first craigslister to write “namaste” back

Namaste you all – and may you never know the fury of “thunder talons”



The Trailer of Tears

May 7, 2009

Vintage Shasta Trailer for a Tent trailer – $1 (Fresno, CA)


Reply to: ****
Date: 2009-05-06, 9:33AM PDT

I have a Vintage 14 ‘ – 1964 Shasta Airflyte trailer that I would like to trade for a tent trailer. My family has grown and we need more space. Sleeps 4 in 2 beds, fold out couch and a dinette. It looks like there was a single bunk over the couch at one time but it is not there any more. I have the pink slip in hand and the trailer is registered thru June.

This Shasta model is the last of the “Canned Ham” style trailers. The next year, they squared off the design for a more modern look. It’s in usable condition but needs some work. Completely restored, these babies are worth over $10,000.

trailer1

___________________________________________________________

And so it begins…

Me: Greetings!
 
I like the style of this trailer.  It is evoking a touching bout of nostalgia in me.  I feel that this great trailer has traveled far and wide across our great land.  Is this true?
 
Namaste,
Ty

Jon:  I don’t know the full history of the trailer but I do know it’s been to Albuquerque, NM and back.  Spent most of it’s life in the Valley I suspect.

Me:   I can read the soul of this trailer and I think it has a proud history – not unlike my own proud native american heritage.  Would this be suitable for painting?  I am imagining a beautiful mural along the side of a proud Arapaho warrior not riding a horse, but instead riding a very large wolf, hunting by moonlight. 

How many people can fit in this comfortably?

Jon:  Hi Ty,  I got a treat for you….click on this link to see what others have done with their vintage trailers. There are a lot of pictures to enjoy.
 http://www.sistersonthefly.com/trailers.php?offset=40&limit=20

This one will sleep 4 as is but if you put back the bunk above the setee, then you can add one more.

what a treat! :-|

Me:  

Wonderful link my friend, would you mind giving me your thoughts on the paint job idea I have included as an attachment.

Is there a full stove in the trailer?  I should very much like to cook whatever game I may catch (salmon, rabbit, beaver, otter, deer) while out in the wilderness.

indiantrailer

-I think I know a soda machine  that would go perfectly with this trailer…

Jon:  Wow, that would be sooo cool!  Nice artwork!  yes there is a 3-burner range and oven in the trailer and also an icebox.  I have never used the stove but they are simple in design and it should work.

Me:  To the best of your knowledge, have any unclean spirits entered this trailer?  That is to say, people with ill intent or shadowy souls. 

I try to surround myself with people and belongings that have the purest energies possible.

Jon:  I don’t have any knowledge of any unclean spirits in the trailer.

Me:  Will you pay for a shaman to bless the trailer?  I know a very good one I could refer to you.

Jon:  No thanks…I’m looking to sell the trailer and really nothing more than that.

Me:  Do you have any teepees?

_________________________________________________________

I guess Jon didn’t have any teepees.  Whatever, he’s a cheapskate anyways – won’t even hire a shaman to cleanse his trailer of evil spirits.

The least he could do is buy a dreamcatcher.

Namaste.


Heavy Meddle

May 2, 2009

Wanna Start A Band (Los Angeles/North Hollywood)


Reply to: *****
Date: 2009-05-01, 10:48AM PDT

Hi
I LOVE all kinds of music but love performing Rock the most Classic Rock and 90’s Rock. I am not the best vocalist but I am definitly passionate and I have lots of potential. (Black Male age 30 here) I am looking for other creative music lovers who would like to collaborate and start a band. Maybe we will just have fun and it will be a healthy creative outlet, Or, maybe we will play a few clubs. Lets Rock!

yes, lets…

________________________________________________________

First Email

Greetings friend!

I saw your posting on craigslist regarding starting a band!  Lets do it.  What shall we call ourselves?

In the name of ROCK,

Ty

Reply

Cool title, More about you.

cool title? what the hell is this guy talking about?

Second Email

I come from a proud native american background (blackfoot) – I enjoy the music of Led Zeppelin and Rush cranked to maximum volume.  I have never insulted a woman.  I am unstoppable.  I am a great team player and very respectful of strong people.  I am heavily involved and interested in mysticism and history of the far east.  I love all things, that have good in them.  And i want to crush all that is bad.  I live a very pure existence and will always love my mother,  Mother Earth.
How about you?
Ty

2nd Reply

I too love Zeppelin, the Mars Volta, Gnarls Barlkley and so many other bands and artists, I could go on forever.  I am pretty versatile musically.  I am learning the power of positivity. I believe in GOD as a guide and a re-energizing source of POWER and Creativity. I am powerful beyond belief, so are you. I embrace differences, I am very tolerant and open minded and respectful of all spiritual beliefs.
I work in social services as a day job, helping disadvantaged youth.  So I am constantly giving of myself and need other healthy creative outlets. I’ve done many things career wise. What do you play?  How old are you?
T’mon

-HELL. YES. This guy is AWESOME.

Third Email

Rock on.  I too can go on forever.  The universe is expanding at an exponential rate.  Thus we all expand, whether we like it or not.  I am sad for feeble, weak minded people who will never experience the thrill of TOTAL cosmic domination.  life force that flows through all beings is so strong if it is harnessed properly.  I think in many instances, music is the outward expression of that strength and power.  But – it must be played heavy and it must be played loud.  Otherwise, the universe will deny it.

I believe age to be irrelevant, as we are all old souls.  But in mans construction of "time" – I am 3 seasons of the mahogany, or 30 years old. 
I am glad to hear of your contributions back to society.  That is a worthy cause and you shall be blessed many times over, I am sure of it.

Ty

3rd Reply

Cool well how would you contribute to the band? What do you play? Do you play?

Fourth Email

I do not play any instruments.  But I can sing with the scream of an eagle and the bone thrilling shriek of a 1,000 banshees.
I can also write award winning songs at will.
The pen is truly mightier than the sword – but ROCK is mightier than all.  What shall we be called?  How about Comanche Nightmare?

______________________________________________________________

I didn’t hear back from T’mon.  Can you believe that?!  Alas, Comanche Nightmare just wasn’t meant to be.  Too bad too, considering we were both all powerful and whatnot.  Sounded like a pretty awesome basis for a band.

And why was this in the barter section of craigslist?

Namaste